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HOW TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERSHIP
Here’s the system I recommend (and now use myself), which will help you get the most out of this important relationship.
1. Choose a regular day and time for your meeting. You may meet once a day for 5 minutes, once a week for 20 minutes, or any other frequency that works for both of you. What’s most important is that it is regular and reserved time. If you know you will be out of town or at an unavoidable appointment, reschedule it the week before so you keep that momentum going. (My favorite method is to meet once a week for about 20 minutes. The examples below are based on this model.)
2. When you connect with your partner, spend one or two minutes celebrating accomplishments—even small ones—or anything you need to clear in order to be fully present. For example, you could say, “I just completed Module 5 – and I did 3 Challenge Your Thinking exercises!” or “I’m struggling with getting complete with an ex, so I feel distracted.” This isn’t an opportunity to go into a long story. Rather, it’s just to get things off your chest so you can be focused on the present moment.
3. Report on accomplishments related to the commitments you established last week. For example, you can say to your partner, “I committed to completing The Reality Check in Module 4.2, and I did that. I also committed to reading my chosen slogans 3 times day and haven’t done that.” Your partner then goes through his or her list. (Keep a special notebook JUST for accountability calls, so you have all your commitments in one place for easy reference.)
4. If you’ve honored all your commitments, then you’re done. If you haven’t, your partner asks one question: “Would you make the same choices again?” For example, if I were sick or taking care of a family emergency, I might say, “I’d make the same choice again because I had other priorities that superseded those commitments.” However, if I just hadn’t made enough calls or hadn’t taken enough action, I might say, “No, I wouldn’t make the same choice again. I see that I allowed myself to give up, saying it was good enough, and I want to honor my commitments instead.”
5. Your partner asks, “What do you commit to for next week?” You list your commitments, and you both write them down.
6. Allow your partner to report on her commitments and ask any necessary questions.
7. Celebrate each other and end the call!
AN ACCOUNTABILITY CALL IS NOT. . .
An opportunity for you to complain, beat yourself up, or criticize your partner.
An obligation for you to help/coach your partner on how he or she “should” have completed her work.
A time-wasting chat or gossip session.
AN ACCOUNTABILITY CALL IS. . .
A chance to commit to playing big.
An opportunity to have someone else hold the space for your greatness.
A place to regularly celebrate yourself and your accomplishments.
If you have questions about accountability, post them on the Facebook Forum. Also, feel free to share any tweaks to the process that work for you.