Challenge Your Thinking

Take charge of your thoughts and future! Feelings aren’t facts! Facts are Facts!

Use the exercise below to work through either an upsetting scenario or a situation where your thinking is negative or fixed and replace it with a healthier, more balanced and peaceful state of mind.* You’ll have the opportunity to see and apply realistic and reality based thinking to any upsetting situation. It’s time to break up disempowering thinking. Getting upset about events or circumstances is not about “what happened” but the meaning we add to “what happened.”

EXAMPLE: “Joanna still hasn’t returned my call since I called her after our date two nights ago.” One way to think about this is to obsess and feel upset that she hasn’t called. Another way is to interrupt this thinking process and say, “Wait! Even if she doesn’t call me, it doesn’t mean I’m not a desirable person! She may just be busy or not a match. And if we are not matched, it will free me up to meet someone who is.” You can control your thoughts and your destiny and come from a place of power in your life. Let’s begin.

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A. What is happening? Describe the circumstances of a past event that led to an unpleasant emotion related to dating. This can be something that was upsetting, annoying or is a persistent complaint. EXAMPLE: The people I attract and/or date talk only about themselves. They don’t ask questions about me.

B. What are you telling yourself about the above circumstances? Identify what conclusions you’re drawing from what is happening. EXAMPLE: I tell myself that I’m not interesting or not good enough (or they would ask and be interested), so therefore something must be wrong with me.

C. How are you feeling as a result of the situation described above? Write down your emotions and behavior as a result of the event. EXAMPLE: I feel depressed, lonely, despondent and turned off to dating.

D. Challenge your answer to B with something more rational and empowering. Live your life powerfully and free yourself to meet a real match. EXAMPLE: It’s not about me. If a person is self-absorbed and not asking questions and talking only about him/herself, I shouldn’t waste my time with that person. I’m lovable and smart, as evidenced by my life experiences. I will begin to love and trust myself instead of surrendering my power to others.

E. How do you feel now that you’ve replaced irrational thoughts with rational ones? EXAMPLE: Hopeful and balanced. I realize that I can choose who to date and who to allow into my world. I will continue to develop myself and have a positive attitude and see myself in a new way every day.

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Exercise: Challenge Your Thinking

Challenge Your Thinking

Take charge of your thoughts and future! Feelings aren’t facts! Facts are Facts!

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