Welcome to your Post Bye Bye Blindspots Lovework Action Items:
Uncover your “Disempowering Story” so you’re no longer “run” by it!
Now that you’ve filled out and gone over your very important Reality Check in a Bye Bye Blindspots session, I want you to set aside time to do the important follow up love work that will change your trajectory and put the past where it belongs–in the past, as outlined below.
Remember the Reality Check ties everything together and allows us to discover what your Disempowering Story is (aka, your Blindspot) from the past that has been dictating the present and closing off your future–your dreams.
Your Disempowering Story is a lie! It’s something you told yourself in order to survive. It was never true! You are really your essence! There’s nothing wrong with you. There never was.
We know that your needs were not met. You experienced traumas. But now you are no longer there. You’re not a child.
We don’t really care–for you to heal and be free–why your parents couldn’t meet your emotional needs. They just couldn’t. No sense spending more time analyzing. Now, you get to take responsibility and step in and be the parent to yourself now.
Because within you, you have a wounded inner child who still feels and experiences your blind spot and needs you and needs your love. It’s been a your inner child who has been “choosing” all of the “wrong” ones in your love life. You’ve been unconsciously choosing them! And now you can change that.
The steps to healing your “inner child.”
By doing the following exercises, we’ll heal the your inner child — getting to the root of wound that’s been causing you to invite in people and circumstances that have been a reflection — a mirror — to your fears.
So if you believed unconsciously that “something is wrong with me” you attracted people who supported that “hidden” and unconscious belief.
No we say “Bye Bye to Your Blind spot!” and to transcend and heal that part of you, once and for all.
Love work Action Items:
The steps to healing your “inner child”. . .to close off the past and step into the future.
- Identify your Disempowering Story (aka your Blindspot).
Fill out your My Old Disempowering Story form and memorize your Disempowering Story Statement. Remember that Your Dismpowering Story “I’m not important” (aka I’m alone) was a lie you told yourself in order to survive. It was never true but it’s been running your dating life and causing you to recreate your childhood and the familiar– all unconsciously. - Parent yourself to heal yourself.
Where you landed as a baby was not your fault. The fact that your needs weren’t met had nothing to do with you. Parents do the best they can with the tools they have. Giving you life was a gift. The rest is a bonus. So now you take responsibility for your life. You become the parent you always wanted and needed. Begin now to meet your own emotional needs and be the parent you always wanted. - Do the Mirror Exercise to Parent Yourself to Heal Your Inner Child.
Imagine that you’re the healthy dream parent–the ideal parent you always wanted who had the tools and skills to meet your needs.Imagine a time a time or situation that was either traumatic or when you felt lost or afraid because your parent wasn’t there for you.You’ll revisit that traumatic event or situation — only difference is that this time, you’re the parent!Your parent–the one who hurt you or couldn’t meet your needs isn’t the parent anymore. You are. (And, it’s not about them. It’s about you!)Imagine what you would have like to have happened, instead of what did. For example, maybe you spilled something on the floor and in the past your parent screamed at you. In the exercise, this time, with you as the parent, you might say “Oh, no big deal, that you spilled your juice. I love you, I am here for you, let’s clean it up together, it’s not big deal sweetie).You’ll say the words that you needed to hear:You’ll tell your inner child what he/she wanted could count on you for.
You’ll say how loved and wanted he/she is.
You’ll be the the dream parent and meet the needs of your inner child.You’ll feel the compassion or touch or kindness and understanding you always wanted.
You’ll write down those words.
And every day in the am when you wake up and at night before you go to sleep–starting now (don’t stop until you’re engaged), I want you to look into a mirror, and gaze into your own eyes (and if it feels uncomfortable, you’re doing it right) and say to yourself (your inner child) what your inner child wanted to hear (from the reframing exericise of being your own perfect parent).
Say your name, (i.e., [Fill in your first name], you are safe with me always, I will protect you, what you want matters, I have your back and will always be here to protect you, I love you unconditionally, it’s safe to play, you can just be you and I will never leave you, I support you always and really see you, etc.)
- Read Healing the Child Within by Dr. Charles Whitfield
- Watch this Brene Brown TED talk on vulnerability and her Ted Talk on Shame.
Now is your time think differently–and to nurture yourself and to be in your heart. You now have the distinctions. It’s a time of exploration and stepping out of autopilot thinking—to transcend the status quo to change your reality to attract the love you deserve. You’re going to be the parent you always wanted and needed.