TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

Type in your takeaways here…

Spotlights Dating Camp 8-20-19

Yael

Celebrating Showing up to an event and went by myself.

Moved away from energy suck

Yael – 53

Look search criteria 48 – 62, Jewish, Non-smokers, dont want kids

Match, Okay Cupid, JWed, Jswipe. . . .

One search at a time NY =  See how many come in that universe

Phoenix

New Jersey

Seattle

Boston

Action Item:

MEMORIZE

I am loving, curious. . . 

Feel:  Safe, celebrated, supported, seen and connected.

Lightness and some fun!!!!

Think UP!!!!  Own your success!

Be DO Have

Thought, Speech and Action

I have two main questions:  

1. My pipeline has slowed to a trickle. I have messaged all men and women in my age range in PHX, Boston, NY, Chicago, Portland, Seattle, NJ with little to no response from anyone. I have been going to events and getting out and not yet meeting anyone. I’m continuing to search online for events and to try news sites and cities. What other things would you suggest?

2. I have met a few “near misses,” or men with whom I share values, visions, and goals but to whom I am not attracted OR men to whom I am attracted and share values but we are at different stages of life (they want children and I don’t). How can I use these situations to sharpen my vision of what I’m looking for in a mate?

I am doing way better at shutting down the narcissists. I’m definitely attracting a better quality of person, and the self-absorbed folks get the message and leave me alone.

The event this weekend, my friend who died . . . 

I still do believe that HaShem is bringing me my one, and that I have to do my part. So I continue to put myself out there even though I don’t yet see how this will all work out.

There’s a part of me that feels like guilty. . . 

Yael Challenge Your Thinking:

If I could just fix them, they would love me.

Is it your job to fix them?

I can only fix myself!!!! (shift my thinking, change, adjust)

Not my job. . . 

Theirs to fix themselves. . .

You’re fired!!!!

1. I was at an event with someone who wouldnt stop talking and was self-absorbed.
2. She’s wounded in some way.  I feel like it’s my job to be there for here.  Why is it my to be there for her. I can see how wounded she is.  I’m there. That’s it. . .Why is your job to be there for her? When I walk away I’m not compassionate and I’m bad person. . . Nobody loves them. *** I’m unlovable.  ***  THIS IS A LIE!!!
3. Horrible, hopeless, alone, disempowered, tired–what’s the point. . . .
4. I don’t feel lovable. . . I can think my way there. . . . (gathering evidence. . . ) I have to love myself first before any one is going to meet my needs. . . You were always were. . . You were a human little baby. . and it wasn’t your fault.  The fact that my parents. . . *** The key to the kingdom **** I have a right to have my own needs!! I want attention, snuggles, a bed time story. . .I am lovable and when is someone . . .It must begin.  The inner criticism. . . 
5. Softer!  Sadness (not in a bad way). . . calm!! (Yes this what is!!)

What would be possible is a connected life!!!!

Rosy

Great weekend, grand-nieces bday. . . 

TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

Rosy 

Celebration

This really resonated. . . and giving up control.

Work work work, going to the gym.

Therapy is easy 1:1 I was telling my therapist and she was so excited for me.

Then, I started to open up a little bit.

I have mixed feelings.

This IS it.  I’m here to find the one.

I feel a little scared and afriad because I don’t want to fail again.

I don’t like anyone.

In 22 years, I had a few dates.

I never liked anyone and it was easy for me to say, next.  

It didn’t pass that.

I didn’t look at other things that the guy had.

I’m differnt in biz and my personal life.

I’m different with closest friends.  Just with the opposite sex that gives me this reaaction and I told her that yesterday that we spoke a few minutes

It’s very important to share in the group.  Walking with the wrong foot.

It let me think. 

I don’t share.

Your sister invited you to open up.   Expand how you feel and what you’re doing.

It’s such a big contrast.  In my business and I am strong.  It’s unbeleiveable how in my personal life I’m a tiger.

I have control.

I do what I do with my money.  My ex husband was super controlling.   When I want to help my family in Israel. 

When I want to go, I want to go.

Fear of intimacy. . . Fear of being controlled. . . The way I was thinking was through past experience.

How am I going to give him a kiss?  Those things. . . That’s why I never tried to be in a serious relationship. . ..

I have to confront those issues.

Dating Yourself is opening and sharing.

Practice Challenging Your Thinking. . .

Be out of your comfort zone.

Not looking for approval.  

You’re an adult.

I’m going to NY for a networking event and I was thinking. . . I was thinking, maybe will be a good time for me to try to match a date over there.  If I go 3 or 4 nights, this time, I said “well I’ll go to a show one. . . get into the dating mindset.”  

 MEROV

2 things about giving up to look good!

Everything is a process.  It’s very different as time goes by.

What you see before.. . it’s building a muscle. . . 

Embrace. . . 

Celebrate.

Yesterday I went on a date. . . thought he was nice but didn’t feel a connection.

I just didn’t like him. . . period.  

It was freeing. . .

This helped a lot.  The whole mindset and Rosy sharing. . . 

The process is getting easier.  I can feel that momemtum.

I’m signing up

Sharon

Celebration is to fold one listening to the talk in terms of parenting yourself.

The kids who had perfectism/illusion.

Allowing things to flow in my life.

My office imploded and I like the work.

I do like the work.

And to be open.

Trying to find the breathe and my life.

I notice the separation. .. wins in the right 

Becka

I loved Rosy’s vulnerability.  I found myself really connecting to a lot of things around mother.

We’ve experienced very similar things. . . with mother.

If I’m good, you’re not going to yell.   

I wanted to give you an update:  I spoke with my roommate. .. I have to remove male intimacy from my life.  You meet a lot of my needs and because of that, I’m not taking initiative….of meeting people and it enables me to not go out and find my person and my needs.

One of the recommendations is that one of us moves out.

I’ve been thinking about it.  I told him about the apt I want to buy… they are renting and the universe is conspiring to meet my needs.  We need to have boundaires and space.

Later that day, if we have coffee, I’d spend time with him.  . . .Later that night he sent me a note and I’m grabbing a drink and that goes against my role of the program.  

I did a completion letter with him.  Even though it’s friends…it’s taking up so much mind share. 

I saw how much I’ve been willing to accept everything but intimacy.   I adore this person I live with.

I’ve lived in a relationship with no expectations. . . this honestly has been the best learning experience but with out expectations.  I didn’t know I had these feelings about him. I had so much love for this person….it’s one-sided. Fuck this!!! It’s one-sided. Here’s what we don’t have.

We don’t have the emotinoal intimacy.  I got so close and I’d have a really great time and i wanted to be closer….he was in friend mode.  I’m sick of putting myself in these relationship…I get hit and then you spend time and I’m want all …

I’m not into.

My celebration moment…I went to an anniversary party with one of my ….beauty industry. . .at work.

I’m going to choose what I want regardless of the venue…and feel good.

No male energy…just hang out with girls.  I’m with the girls and 2 males…it was a chance for me to be with another person and sharing.   How do you know this program…and I’m in this program.

I’m so used to…through my conversation….this is what I want and this is this…I’m dating myself…so I’m going to have to cut my conversation.  They were if from this interaction. . . if so, I’ll be in touch with you. . .

Your program works!!!   

TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

Type in your takeaways here…

Spotlights Dating Camp 8-20-19

Yael

Celebrating Showing up to an event and went by myself.

Moved away from energy suck

Yael – 53

Look search criteria 48 – 62, Jewish, Non-smokers, dont want kids

Match, Okay Cupid, JWed, Jswipe. . . .

One search at a time NY =  See how many come in that universe

Phoenix

New Jersey

Seattle

Boston

Action Item:

MEMORIZE

I am loving, curious. . . 

Feel:  Safe, celebrated, supported, seen and connected.

Lightness and some fun!!!!

Think UP!!!!  Own your success!

Be DO Have

Thought, Speech and Action

I have two main questions:  

1. My pipeline has slowed to a trickle. I have messaged all men and women in my age range in PHX, Boston, NY, Chicago, Portland, Seattle, NJ with little to no response from anyone. I have been going to events and getting out and not yet meeting anyone. I’m continuing to search online for events and to try news sites and cities. What other things would you suggest?

2. I have met a few “near misses,” or men with whom I share values, visions, and goals but to whom I am not attracted OR men to whom I am attracted and share values but we are at different stages of life (they want children and I don’t). How can I use these situations to sharpen my vision of what I’m looking for in a mate?

I am doing way better at shutting down the narcissists. I’m definitely attracting a better quality of person, and the self-absorbed folks get the message and leave me alone.

The event this weekend, my friend who died . . . 

I still do believe that HaShem is bringing me my one, and that I have to do my part. So I continue to put myself out there even though I don’t yet see how this will all work out.

There’s a part of me that feels like guilty. . . 

Yael Challenge Your Thinking:

If I could just fix them, they would love me.

Is it your job to fix them?

I can only fix myself!!!! (shift my thinking, change, adjust)

Not my job. . . 

Theirs to fix themselves. . .

You’re fired!!!!

1. I was at an event with someone who wouldnt stop talking and was self-absorbed.
2. She’s wounded in some way.  I feel like it’s my job to be there for here.  Why is it my to be there for her. I can see how wounded she is.  I’m there. That’s it. . .Why is your job to be there for her? When I walk away I’m not compassionate and I’m bad person. . . Nobody loves them. *** I’m unlovable.  ***  THIS IS A LIE!!!
3. Horrible, hopeless, alone, disempowered, tired–what’s the point. . . .
4. I don’t feel lovable. . . I can think my way there. . . . (gathering evidence. . . ) I have to love myself first before any one is going to meet my needs. . . You were always were. . . You were a human little baby. . and it wasn’t your fault.  The fact that my parents. . . *** The key to the kingdom **** I have a right to have my own needs!! I want attention, snuggles, a bed time story. . .I am lovable and when is someone . . .It must begin.  The inner criticism. . . 
5. Softer!  Sadness (not in a bad way). . . calm!! (Yes this what is!!)

What would be possible is a connected life!!!!

Rosy

Great weekend, grand-nieces bday. . . 

TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

Type in your takeaways here…

TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CALL

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