Writing Your Get Complete, Free & Real Clarity Declaration
Getting Complete gives you a tremendous sense of emotional freedom and creates the inner space you need in order to welcome new love into your life.
This process gets to the heart of the situation with the people, relationships, and experiences and enables you to release yourself from this part of your past.
Get Complete, Free & Real “Clarity Declaration”
Redefining Completion
Conventional wisdom tells us that time heals all wounds. Nothing could be further from the truth. You may be physically apart and separated from people from your past — like ex’s or other romantic relationships but emotionally it’s a different story. You can still find yourself “incomplete.”
And these incompletions are devastating given you want to find your soulmate so they must be cleared and handled. NOW.
How much inner space do you think you need to welcome true love?
If you guessed 100%, you’d be right!
Emotionally we are often romanticizing the past and feeling regretful and maybe even wishing you were back together.
The Solution? Getting Complete! Doing so and choosing it powerfully and from a rational and reality based mindset gives you a tremendous sense of emotional freedom and creates the inner space you need in order to welcome new love into your life.
Is Getting Free From The Past By Getting Complete a passive or active experience?
It’s active!
Choosing is powerful and is high vibration and “in the driver’s seat” energy.
You can have your incompletions and fantasy thinking about the past OR you can you have your soulmate who offers you everything, but you can’t have both.
Step 1. Identify the people you aren’t complete with using our Meet to Marry New Definition of Completion.
People you are not “complete with” are the people that you still think about, with whom you hold regrets, sadness or even anger toward. They are people you sometimes hope will come back into your life or that you may fantasize about returning to when you are lonely or tired. When you think about them, you might feel “if only I’d been different or had done something different, then it would have gone differently.”
Realize this: If the relationship were meant to work out, it would have. That is reality.
Choose to give up the “should have’s”, “could have’s” and “if only’s” These are childhood (family of origin) ways of thinking.”
Based on the NEW definition, make a list of the people you are “not complete” with? Note that as you do this process, you may think of more people to add to the list.
Step 2: Write a Get Complete, Free & Real “Clarity Declaration” for yourself about each person you are “not complete with.”
- Acknowledge the time you spent together and express what you learned from it. Even terrible situations offer a perspective for growth. Acknowledge how everything that transpired in this relationship was a learning experience.
- Next express what didn’t work in the relationship. Identify and make a list of all of things that were missing for you in the relationship and each aspect that didn’t work. Don’t hold back.
- How it felt. For each item that didn’t work, write down how it felt emotionally to not receive what you needed and wanted.
- How you wanted to feel. Then, write down what you wished you received in the relationship and how you wanted to feel instead of how you actually felt.
- Why you really need(ed) whatever was missing. Your feelings matter, what you want matters. Write down specifically why you want and need what was missing.
For example:
- What didn’t work for me was how you were very critical and demanding.
- It made me feel unloved, misunderstood, hurt, confused and alone
- What I needed and wanted was your encouragement, to feel heard, supported, to feel loved and a deep connection.
- I needed that because I’m a sensitive person and I felt criticized by my mother as a child.
Do this for each aspect of the relationship that didn’t work and for each person you’re incomplete with.
Note: Use the structure below to create the document in Word or a GoogleDoc or whatever way you prefer. Some prefer typing it out and others take pen to paper. First brainstorm the list of all of the things that didn’t work in the relationship(s) and then complete the following:
| Name of person: What didn’t work How it felt to be treated that way How I wanted to feel Why I needed that need to be met
Name of person: What didn’t work How it felt to be treated that way How I wanted to feel Why I needed that need to be met
Name of person: What didn’t work How it felt to be treated that way How I wanted to feel Why I needed that need to be met Name of person: What didn’t work How it felt to be treated that way How I wanted to feel Why I needed that need to be met Name of person: What didn’t work How it felt to be treated that way How I wanted to feel Why I needed that need to be met Name of person: What didn’t work How it felt to be treated that way How I wanted to feel Why I needed that need to be met Feel free to add to continue this process if you think of more people you’re not complete with. |
Step 3: Next, sit with the feelings associated with what was missing.
Really see it. The impact of it. How it really felt. Notice what it cost you then and what’s it’s costing you now to be thinking about someone who didn’t offer you what you wanted and needed the most!
What is it costing you to think about “only the good things” and being in regret and in fantasy about something that didn’t work and caused you pain.
Step 4: Visualize the door to this part of your past closing.
Then start absorbing the new healthy perspective that “I’ve lived, I’ve loved, and I’ve learned.” Imagine closure from thinking about this person, freedom from being stuck in the past and wondering and questioning your choices, acceptance that you did the best you could, forgiveness for any judgement., suffering, regret, upset and criticism of yourself, and offer up unconditional love for the human being that you are.
Get connected to how unproductive and wrong it is for you to be suffering over a situation with someone who absolutely wasn’t your soulmate and definitely wasn’t the one.
It’s pointless and closes off your future.
You deserve to have your soulmate and that person is waiting on the other side of being stuck in regret over the past.
Step 6: End the document and release it and yourself!
There’s no need to actually contact the person unless it’s someone you are in touch with. Let the person know you have moved on and there’s no more reason to be in touch.
You can see by now that being incomplete isn’t serving you. If the person is someone you co-parent with, the act of choosing to be complete is the same. You can still be in touch with your ex for the sake of your children without any suffering at all.
To Thyself Be True. Your truth is you are inviting in your soulmate. The past is gone. There’s no future in it. You can tear up the document, burn it, or whatever you need to do in order to feel complete.
Some do a completion party, or a ceremony with friends or alone or with their accountability partner. It’s so freeing to choose to be complete
Coaching: Tune in to the video below, as a participant receives coaching on Getting Complete.